My weight has been a disappointment to me for years and, yet, I've done nothing about it. My clothes don't fit right, I'm lazy, sluggish, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm invisible. (Yes, ironically, the bigger you become the more invisible you become. People just do not treat you the same.) I'm tired of thinking about being fat all the time. So, I'm issuing a challenge to myself to be healthier for the 31 days of July. They say it takes 3 weeks for a habit to form....here's hoping.
These things always have a set of rules or guidelines to help schlubs like me along, here's what I came up with so far. I'll add to the list as I go along and see fit:
The 31 Day Be Healthier Challenge
1) Absolutely Nothing Deep Fried!!!! Rule number one because deep fried = garbage as far as diet is concerned. Good-bye mozzarella sticks.
2) Don't even think about extra cheese. Enough said.
3) Banish the take-out. Although there ARE healthier take-out options around, they never seem to be the ones chosen.
4) More Water! I understand the need even though I will spend half of my day in the can.
5) Utilize the French Market for produce. It's local, it's healthy, and it will help increase my fruit and veggie intake. I am constantly amazed at how little I eat of these items.
6) Be creative and cook at home. Using what is obtained above.
7) PORTION CONTROL!!! This is probably my biggest problem area. The amount of food I can put away in a sitting is sometimes astonishing.
8) At least 30 minutes of exercise a day. This exercise will probably be walking for me. I'm saying 30 mins. because that's probably all I'll be able to handle in the July New Orleans heat. And then there's the fact that I'm incredibly out of shape and lazy.
9) One diet soda a day. Need to get away from artificial sweeteners. And see # 4.
10) Less beef (and pork). I have totally disassociated myself from the fact that what we buy in the store is actually sweet natured animals. When I see them, my stomach turns in disgust with myself for eating them. They break my heart.
11) Minimize Alcohol. Not a problem for me. It just doesn't hold the same appeal that it did in my youth.
12) Deal with my affinity for sugar. Another of my problem areas that needs major work. I am one of those people who looks at the dessert menu first when in a restaurant. I have a sweet tooth, what can I say?
13) With all of that being said, Allow myself the occasional treat. I can not, and will not, be totally deprived. Life is just too short.
So there it is. My challenge to myself. Let me say here that this is not supposed to be a self-imposed quick weight loss bootcamp. I'm not even weighing myself at the start ( I don't own a scale). It's about being healthier and not looking at a vegetable as if it were a foreign object. I need to do something to show some love for myself. Plus, I have my BFF coming down next month and I want to have the energy to enjoy and experience her time here. I start tomorrow. You can too......are you up to the challenge?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Need To Focus
I had an unexpected day off today and actually got up off my ass and did some walking (meandering, really) in this heat and took in my surroundings. Met Mike for lunch at Louisiana Pizza Kitchen and had a tasty pepperoni pizza that negated the previous and any subsequent walking we would do but, hey, at least I made the effort. After lunch we picked up Lois (the dog) and continued on a short, sweaty walk through an area of the Marigny that I would LOVE to own a house in. We had looked in an apartment in this area before moving into the Quarter but the guy who got there before us also got the apartment. Don't get me wrong, I love the French Quarter, love being 2 minutes from work, and dread the thought of moving again.....but I wouldn't mind moving over there.
Anyhoo, it was good to get out of the house to just observe some beauty and occupy my mind. Since arriving home from NJ I haven't been sleeping well at night and have had trouble focusing. The news on my dad's health was not good. The original tumor found was not the only one, the cancer has metastasized and his heart problems aren't helping the matter. MY heart hurts for him and my mom. She tirelessly stays by his side for hours on end to make sure he is comfortable. It was an emotionally draining 5 days for me so I can't imagine what they are going through. And although I'm happy to be home, I feel uneasy and "off". Maybe that's what's fueling my thoughts of moving. I want to finally find my place, career, etc. because, as they say, life is short. Very short, folks. So, take a look around you and ask yourself if you're REALLY happy; and if those around you are happy. Anything less is a shame. You have to take care of your self and your happiness.
As an afterthought....I wrote this previously but didn't get to post:
I finally made it out to Three Muses (with Mike and Valerie), a club on Frenchmen St. that specializes in small plates, cocktails, and music in an intimate setting. Open for less than a year, Three Muses is small, crowded, noisy, and enjoyable but they have no system in place for doling out tables. It is a free for all where first come isn't necessarily first served and can be quite stressful. It's hard to enjoy your company when you each have one eye surveying the room for movement indicating that someone is vacating a table. After finally securing a table, we ordered some food and all was right with the world again. The mushroom gnocchi with housemade ricotta were fantastic - the lightest gnocchi I've ever had; housemade fries with fontina cheese - perfect; the chicken masala flatbread had the glorious taste of fresh tarragon; creamy, delightful mac & cheese; all topped off with a banana mascarpone strudel. Very pleasant, indeed. The entertainment that evening was provided by Glen David Andrews, a local trombone player who is currently riding quite a wave of popularity. I enjoy seeing him work and find him to be a talented guy but I have one complaint.....he is constantly shouting "somebody scream!" throughout his set. Besides being totally outdated, (I keep waiting for him to start with "throw your hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care!") it just takes away from the show. Once or twice.....OK. Every five minutes.....annoying.
Overall, a good night out and I would go back. But I would hope for it to be less crowded.
Anyhoo, it was good to get out of the house to just observe some beauty and occupy my mind. Since arriving home from NJ I haven't been sleeping well at night and have had trouble focusing. The news on my dad's health was not good. The original tumor found was not the only one, the cancer has metastasized and his heart problems aren't helping the matter. MY heart hurts for him and my mom. She tirelessly stays by his side for hours on end to make sure he is comfortable. It was an emotionally draining 5 days for me so I can't imagine what they are going through. And although I'm happy to be home, I feel uneasy and "off". Maybe that's what's fueling my thoughts of moving. I want to finally find my place, career, etc. because, as they say, life is short. Very short, folks. So, take a look around you and ask yourself if you're REALLY happy; and if those around you are happy. Anything less is a shame. You have to take care of your self and your happiness.
As an afterthought....I wrote this previously but didn't get to post:
I finally made it out to Three Muses (with Mike and Valerie), a club on Frenchmen St. that specializes in small plates, cocktails, and music in an intimate setting. Open for less than a year, Three Muses is small, crowded, noisy, and enjoyable but they have no system in place for doling out tables. It is a free for all where first come isn't necessarily first served and can be quite stressful. It's hard to enjoy your company when you each have one eye surveying the room for movement indicating that someone is vacating a table. After finally securing a table, we ordered some food and all was right with the world again. The mushroom gnocchi with housemade ricotta were fantastic - the lightest gnocchi I've ever had; housemade fries with fontina cheese - perfect; the chicken masala flatbread had the glorious taste of fresh tarragon; creamy, delightful mac & cheese; all topped off with a banana mascarpone strudel. Very pleasant, indeed. The entertainment that evening was provided by Glen David Andrews, a local trombone player who is currently riding quite a wave of popularity. I enjoy seeing him work and find him to be a talented guy but I have one complaint.....he is constantly shouting "somebody scream!" throughout his set. Besides being totally outdated, (I keep waiting for him to start with "throw your hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care!") it just takes away from the show. Once or twice.....OK. Every five minutes.....annoying.
Overall, a good night out and I would go back. But I would hope for it to be less crowded.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Clarifications
I'm leaving for the airport in a couple of hours to board a flight to Philadelphia to see my dad and can't sleep, so I wanted to take the time to clarify some things about my last post.....
Although I am very frustrated that my father has squandered the second chances given to him in life, I am not judging him. I'm in no place to do so. As human beings we all make bad choices in our lives, some worse than others. And while I find it hard to sympathize with the choices that brought him to this situation, I am still compassionate about the suffering he is enduring. No one deserves to go through cancer and it is a mystery why some do and others don't. My frustration with his obstinance doesn't mean I don't love my father. I guess overall I'm just sad for him. Sad that he didn't try to turn his health around and live life to the fullest. Life is such a gift and I think it is just a shame to not cherish it. But that was his choice, and we are all entitled to that.
Although I am very frustrated that my father has squandered the second chances given to him in life, I am not judging him. I'm in no place to do so. As human beings we all make bad choices in our lives, some worse than others. And while I find it hard to sympathize with the choices that brought him to this situation, I am still compassionate about the suffering he is enduring. No one deserves to go through cancer and it is a mystery why some do and others don't. My frustration with his obstinance doesn't mean I don't love my father. I guess overall I'm just sad for him. Sad that he didn't try to turn his health around and live life to the fullest. Life is such a gift and I think it is just a shame to not cherish it. But that was his choice, and we are all entitled to that.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Truth And Choices
I just found out a couple of days ago that my dad has cancer again, in the form of a tumor growing on his spine that is destroying the vertebrae it is surrounding. Surgery to "de-bulk" the tumor (complete removal is not possible) and repair his spine was scheduled immediately. Everything went well and he is now recovering. He will also have to endure physical rehabilitation followed by chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
I had originally jotted down a very generic paragraph about all of this and then moved on to more upbeat topics in order to avoid hurt feelings or criticism about my feelings on this subject. But then I thought about this.....a person who writes should write what they know and be truthful. So here is the truth. I find it very hard to be sympathetic toward my father's current plight. I love him and I don't ever want to see him suffer but he has been a smoker and drinker all of his life, to his own detriment. Now, before you assume that I am going to get on my soap box and judge all smokers, I am not. I have smoked cigarettes in my life. This is about choices. My father chose, after multiple heart attacks and having 2/3 OF HIS TONGUE CUT OUT AND RESTRUCTURED because of oral cancer, to continue smoking cigarettes and drinking for 10 years. Resulting in the present situation. People will say, 'It's so hard to quit, it's an addiction'. Bullshit. People quit every day. Again, it's about choices. I don't know about you, but if I had my tongue cut out I'd like to think that I would stop doing what caused that. But that's just me. Maybe I don't fully comprehend addiction. But one thing I do know about it is that the very essence of it is selfishness. To keep doing something no matter how it hurts or affects those around you is just plain selfish. I am most sorry for my mom in this situation. She has stuck by my dad for 41 years of marriage, through thick and thin, I might add, and she doesn't deserve to have to keep going through this shit because my dad wants/likes/needs to smoke cigarettes and drink. He's just doing what he's always known but it doesn't make it right. I was conflicted about my feelings and wondering whether I was a bad person because I didn't hop on a plane, but this is my truth. It is also the truth that I'm hoping for the best possible outcome of the moment and that he will finally say good-bye to cigarettes forever.
I had originally jotted down a very generic paragraph about all of this and then moved on to more upbeat topics in order to avoid hurt feelings or criticism about my feelings on this subject. But then I thought about this.....a person who writes should write what they know and be truthful. So here is the truth. I find it very hard to be sympathetic toward my father's current plight. I love him and I don't ever want to see him suffer but he has been a smoker and drinker all of his life, to his own detriment. Now, before you assume that I am going to get on my soap box and judge all smokers, I am not. I have smoked cigarettes in my life. This is about choices. My father chose, after multiple heart attacks and having 2/3 OF HIS TONGUE CUT OUT AND RESTRUCTURED because of oral cancer, to continue smoking cigarettes and drinking for 10 years. Resulting in the present situation. People will say, 'It's so hard to quit, it's an addiction'. Bullshit. People quit every day. Again, it's about choices. I don't know about you, but if I had my tongue cut out I'd like to think that I would stop doing what caused that. But that's just me. Maybe I don't fully comprehend addiction. But one thing I do know about it is that the very essence of it is selfishness. To keep doing something no matter how it hurts or affects those around you is just plain selfish. I am most sorry for my mom in this situation. She has stuck by my dad for 41 years of marriage, through thick and thin, I might add, and she doesn't deserve to have to keep going through this shit because my dad wants/likes/needs to smoke cigarettes and drink. He's just doing what he's always known but it doesn't make it right. I was conflicted about my feelings and wondering whether I was a bad person because I didn't hop on a plane, but this is my truth. It is also the truth that I'm hoping for the best possible outcome of the moment and that he will finally say good-bye to cigarettes forever.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Making Things Happen
My past month has been plagued with computer and low back problems. The computer problem I solved by getting a new laptop (NOT A DELL!) and I wish the back problem was as easily solvable. But alas, it is not. I cannot order a new hip and sacrum (well, I guess I could but having no health insurance poses a problem). Doing massage full time for the last seven years has taken a toll on my body and my back injury seems to be structural, not muscular as I had hoped. Not sure what I am going to do at this point but I do know that massage cannot be my main source of income for the rest of my working life. I like my job but I can't enjoy it when it causes me pain every day. I had written previously that I was feeling restless in regard to my career so maybe this is my sign to do something about it. As of right now, I plan on sticking with my job while finally finishing up the first part of my aromatherapy course, getting out more to network and establish potential job contacts, and taking some time off in August to rest my body,weigh my options and do some writing. With that being said, things could always be worse. I'm going to work on keeping my dance card as full as possible........if my back is handing me lemons, I have to get busy making things happen and make that lemonade.
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