Wednesday, October 20, 2010

On Spirituality (Or My Lack Thereof)

There are a lot of things in my life for which I'd like to repent. But, other than myself, I haven't figured out who to repent to.

I am lacking spiritually.

I've never been baptised and wasn't raised in a churchgoing environment. Although, I did go to Sunday School for a period of time as a kid at our local Episcopal church but that was more about my friends going than about God. (I also wanted to join a Brownie troop because my friends did. I just NEEDED to know what they were doing in that "club"! I didn't get in.) As an adult I have mixed feelings about organized religion. I don't care for the dogma and superiority associated with some religions and I have trouble believing that the bible is anything other than a story. But I do love the idea of believing in something that gives you hope and faith, and just plain helps you get through. And I respect people's choice to worship as they please. I've been toying for months with the idea of finding a church to try out but something always talks me out of it. Whether it be scorn for the zealots I've encountered or just not liking the thought of waking up early on Sunday mornings, something has kept me from taking that step. I mentioned repenting for my wrongdoings and I can see why people would be attracted to the confession/clean slate thing, but I can't say that I believe in that. It seems very convenient though. I haven't always been the best friend or made the best choices in my personal relationships, or the best choices for my health and well-being, and sometimes the ego can get in the way and sabotage your happiness. But I do believe that you can redeem yourself by being the best possible person you can be during the days you have left on earth. If God, church, Allah, Buddha or your deity of choice help you do that, then so be it. I still may get around to choosing a church to check out, I even have one in mind, but in the meantime I'll just follow the simple principle of treating myself and all living beings with love and respect.

I think that's a good start.

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