Monday, September 10, 2012

Embracing Change

I actually yelled at the scale this morning. And it felt pretty good. Until I was jolted into reality by a vision of the Ben & Jerry's I ate last night; followed by a kind of home movie montage in my mind of all of the crap I've been eating for the past 2 weeks. I then realized how misplaced my anger was. It is me that I should be yelling at. Only me. Since the end of August and the approach of hurricane Isaac I have been in a junk food free for all and I'm struggling to get out of it. That's the reality. It seems that during a hurricane you just eat junk. That's the rule. If you stay to ride it out you stock up on things that will "keep". These are usually canned foods, bread, peanut butter, crackers, cookies, get the idea. Very few things that require refrigeration, because the best you can hope for is to live out of a cooler for a few days but sometimes ice is hard to come by. If you evacuate and end up in a motel somewhere it's usually fast food, take out, or convenience store stuff, as there is no income coming in and you have to be conservative. As I stocked up at the picked over grocery store, my heart sank as I saw the kind of junk that was piling up in my cart. But another part of my brain was elated, thinking, "Yes, for the love of God, I have a few days where I don't have to feel guilty about not giving a fuck about WW points!!!!!" In any case, Isaac was the start of my downward spiral. Stacy has kept it going. I've made some effort to get back on track, but not enough. And it's hard. I've fallen off the wagon and now I need to detox again. It's never any fun to have to start at the beginning. But I will do what I have to do, knowing that I'm still ahead of the game despite a rough couple of weeks. I just have to face the fact that I've gained a few pounds, own it, get my head in the game, and change things up.

With that being said.....I've quit Weight Watchers. I know....I can hear some of you saying "Are you nuts? You just finished saying that you're struggling as it is!" And I can understand the confusion, but here's why:

I'm not really getting a lot out of the meetings (information-wise) and I haven't ever been following the program strictly; therefore, I can't justify laying out the cash for it every month. I know what I need to do and I need to do it on my own. I guess, for some reason, it would make me feel better to know I have the will to do this on my own. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but that is my decision. I'm at peace with it. It helps knowing that I have some supportive people in my life and I will be accountable to my group of girls on facebook. And if I find that I'm not succeeding, I can change my mind. Weight Watchers will still be there.

On the career front, not much has changed except that I can now say that I'm officially a Tour Guide. I picked up my permit last week. Now I just need to get a gig. I did have the good fortune to strike up a conversation at Royal Blend with a woman who is currently a guide. She was really cool and generous enough to provide me with some contacts and a reference. We'll see what pans out from that and I'll start to do some searching on my own. Last week I went into the spa and almost gave up my Wednesday nights, but then considered that it might be prudent to have something else lined up first.

Let's see, what else do I have to report about my activities in the past couple of months........

  • My buddy Mike and I met an old friend, who was in town with her brother, for dinner and Perfect Margaritas at Santa Fe. I so miss going out to dinner regularly, but being broke and trying to lose weight kind of prevent me from doing so. I had what I always get, the Rueda de Huevo. It is pulled pork and sweet potato puree between 2 fried tortillas, topped with some kind of sauce, cheeses, and a fried egg. Sounds strange but is, in reality, damn delicious. Went to Pal's Lounge afterward to continue the revelry.
  • Was very disappointed when I learned that there would be no Satchmo Club Strut to kick of the Satchmo Summer Fest this year. Always enjoyed this event on Frenchmen Street. Great for a night of club hopping and people watching. Hope they bring it back next year or come up with something to replace it. Enjoyed the Saturday of Satchmo Fest, Treme Brass Band turned out an incredible set in honor of Uncle Lionel.
  • Mike & I checked out Dreamy Weenies, the new hot dog place on Rampart Street. Awesome! Yes, awesome! I had a huge, beef hot dog with kraut on a fantasticly fresh roll. Delicious. The waffle fries were good, as were the sweet potato fries, and the portions were large. They get extra points in my book for playing brass band music on the stereo. Hot dog, fries, drink - 10 bucks. Get over there! After lunch we wandered over to The Golden Lantern. I've only been there a couple of times but a good place to duck in for a cheap strong drink. A primarily gay establishment but always welcoming and, of course, entertaining. It happend to be a regular patron's 81st birthday party and he was decked out in a white suit with red accessories, including a red hat sporting a rhinestone pin declaring "It's My Birthday". They had a spread of food that we were encouraged to eat and a second line that we were encouraged to participate in. And that's a rainy summer Saturday afternoon in New Orleans.
  • Stopped in at The Copper Monkey one afternoon. Hadn't been there in a long time and was craving their steak quesedilla. Figured that I'd fill the craving and have a couple of cocktails on the first day of my "stacation". There's not much to the Copper Monkey's steak quesedilla and that's how I like it. Just rib eye steak & melted cheese between tortillas. Sour cream, salsa, & jalapenos on the side. Strong drinks and music on the stereo in the Quarter. Perfect.
  • In the aftermath of hurricane Issac, suffering from a bit of "cabin fever" and being without power, I made my way down to the Quarter to charge my phone and look for a cheeseburger. Yes, I wanted a hot, comforting cheeseburger. I settled on Yo Mama's because of the proximity to The Royal Blend even though I haven't always been crazy about their burgers. Happy to say that it turned out to be a good choice. I had a bacon cheddar burger with a loaded baked potato and enjoyed every bit of it, guilt free. I had heard recent rumors of upheaval and instability over there but I have to say that this was the best burger I've ever had there. It was so good I got one to go to take to my buddy Mike at work.
Sadly, those are the few social highlights of my last few months. But I'm optimistic about changing that and the other things that need it in my life. The New Orleans heat will soon be easing up, football is back, my mom will be here in October. Lots of good things happening now and on the horizon. I'm looking forward to finding a new job and a new path, in general. I love change. It's exciting. It's positive. It's growth. And it's good for us. Change something small in your life today. You just might like it.

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