Clinging To Optimism

"It's not opportunity knocking, it's a prankster with a flaming bag of dog shit. Every time." ~ Mike McDermott


 When I read those words on facebook the other day they gave me a chuckle, but there was also a sense of truth to them. I welcomed the month of March with a positive attitude and high expectations and, so far, it has just taken a crap on my sunny disposition. My boyfriend's mother passed away after a bout with cancer, and yesterday came the news that someone I went to high school with passed from a heart attack. (The downside of facebook - bad news travels quickly. Sometimes it's nice to be blissfully ignorant.) And, apartment living is really starting to wear on my nerves. Our downstairs neighbor is apparently extremely noise sensitive and our daily need to do such things as......WALKING.....seems to be disruptive to her. *sigh* Christ, I wish I had the money to buy a house. But, some of my life decisions haven't been the smartest, financially, so this is my lot in life. Apartment living and working until I die. Good stuff! Guess I'll be getting Power Ball tickets today.

My mom left over a week ago and it feels strange, the five weeks just flew by! On Mardi Gras day we went to the Zulu Parade with a friend, the first time for all of us. It was interesting because we didn't catch it on the St. Charles Ave. part of the route, we claimed a spot (closer to my street) on Orleans Ave. in the 'hood. One good natured guy commented on how the three of us made it a "diverse" crowd. It was a beautiful day, a fun time, and I got two of the coveted Zulu coconuts. Not bad for my first time. Going to Zulu has been on my "to do" list since moving here and now I can say I've done it. I'm still not sure I understand the attraction to parades, but hey, that's just me. The last few days of her stay were pretty sedate. Spent some time in the Quarter and one day had lunch at Royal Street Deli, a tiny place with an eclectic, funky, colorful atmosphere and fantastic food. The tomato soup was stellar! And my Black & Bleu Steak Salad (baby spinach, steak, bleu cheese crumbles, grapes, red onion, roasted red peppers, with basil balsamic dressing) was so flippin' good. The presentation of my mom's Blackened Ahi Tuna Salad (blackened tuna, spring mix, bean salsa, roasted red pepper, pepper jack cheese, avocado, cilantro lime dressing, & corn tortillas) was amazing and she said it tasted as good as it looked. Totally unexpected meals from a place with "deli" in its name. We will definitely go back. On the Saturday morning that she left, I was sad to see her go. Some people said to me, "Holy shit, your mom is staying with you for FIVE weeks?", but I didn't feel that way at all. Even afterward. Of course, as I said before, it wasn't all smooth sailing. But the good outweighed any small disagreements and I'm counting the days until she comes back. Because, as I'm learning every day, we only have a short time in this life and you should make the time for those who matter most.


Speaking of short life spans.....two days after Mardi Gras I joined Weight Watchers in an effort to prolong mine. It went well, pretty much the same as the previous times I've experienced it. The beginning is always fun because it's new and like a game. I followed it to the letter and looked forward to my first weigh-in because the first one is always around a 4-5 lb loss. A weight-loss bonanza! Then, the day before......I felt the whisperings of PMS. I wanted to scream. My @#$%!##$-ing menstrual cycle was going to steal my "week one" thunder! And it did. I was down 2.6 lbs. But, I'll take it. Rah. Rah. Only 72.4 more to go. WooHoo.

It's incredibly tempting to become a constant cynic, because the aforementioned bags of shit will keep coming. But I'm going to remain upbeat about WW, our living situation, and life, in general, because, honestly, it's all I can do. Everything usually sorts itself out. And being around and cultivating negativity is exhausting. So.....I'm clinging to optimism. For dear life. Especially when it seems most futile.